


Sole Searching

by The_Epitome_of_Pretense



Series: The Sole Saga [17]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Robot/Human Relationships, Vault 111
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 01:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15984224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Epitome_of_Pretense/pseuds/The_Epitome_of_Pretense
Summary: The lure of a one-of-a-kind gun leads Sole down into Vault 111. Returning to the place where her life took a turn for the worse brings back unpleasant memories, but Nick Valentine is there to help.





	Sole Searching

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after "Synthetic Sole-Mate"

Sole knew of a weapon that could keep Sanctuary safe, and she knew just where to find it. The only problem was that it lay locked away in Vault 111.

She stood on the ridge overlooking the ruins of Sanctuary Hills. Behind her lay the entrance to the Vault. Before her, the sun had all but set on the Commonwealth.

“Hell of a view, huh?”

Sole turned to face the familiar voice. Nick Valentine stood a little way down the path.

“What are you doing here, Nick?” She said.

“What does it look I'm doing? I’m coming with you.”

“How did you know that I would be here?”

“You’ve barely left my side ever since you bailed me out of that other vault, and you expect me to believe that you all of a sudden just ‘wanted to take a walk by yourself?’ Come on, give me a little more credit than that. If you’re going down there to face your old demons, I’m not about to let you do it alone.”

“I’m not facing any demons. I’m just getting a gun.”

“The folks here already have guns. One more isn’t worth the trouble.”

She started for the guard tower.

“This one is,” she said. “I remember the overseer’s notes on it—they said it could freeze a person solid in a matter of seconds. Can you imagine how easy it would be to keep the raiders away if we had that thing? Just the rumors would probably be more than enough. I’m going down there to get it, and that’s that. I’ve gotten out of there before. I’ll be fine on my own.”

She glanced at the Vault though the tower window. Her eyes strayed to the horizon, and she was forced to remember seeing the massive orange cloud billowing up in the distance, hearing the near-deafening boom, feeling the shock wave nearly topple her over, the sheer force of it all, unstoppable, death in the form of pure energy—

A hand on her shoulder steadied her.

“Look,” Nick said, “we’re partners. ‘If one of us has a problem, then both of us have a problem.’ Isn’t that what you said? Or is there something down there you don't want me to see?”

 _I don’t want you to see how scared I am_ , she thought.

She slammed her fist down on the elevator control button.

“Come on, let’s get going,” she said.

They positioned themselves in the middle of the gear-shaped platform just as it began to descend. The mechanism sent up an ear-splitting squeal. The earth swallowed them up, plunging them into darkness. Sole remembered how everyone on the platform covered their ears the last time she was here—she remembered how her neighbors clinged to each other, how Nate held Shaun so close—

“You alright?” Nick yelled over the din.

Sole blinked in surprise.

“What? I mean, yeah,” she said.

The platform ground to a halt. Sole did not give herself the chance to hesitate, but started up the staircase and into the entrance. She could almost hear the Vault-Tec employees assuring her that she would love her new, underground life. That everything would go back to normal once they get the all-clear. She almost laughed. Even the mega-corporation that sought to profit off the end of the world had no idea just how bad things would be. No one comes out on top after Armageddon. Death doesn’t discriminate.

Or does it? She began to wonder. After all, it was only the rich and well-connected who could afford a place in the Vault. For all the good it did the residents of 111.

The fluorescent lights flickered, glinting off the metal-trimmed walls. The air stank of damp and chemicals and rot.

“The hell kind of aroma is that?” Nick muttered.

Sole wanted to say something witty in return, but the right words never came. They continued in silence deeper into the Vault.

She directed their steps down the left hallway. She didn’t want to think about what lay to the right. They stepped over the radroach carcasses left behind from her last tour of the facility, avoiding the patches of dried ooze and innards.

“There’s your aroma,” Sole grumbled.

“That’s one mystery I could have left unsolved.”

They passed through the hall and found themselves in a wide room with a curved desk. Two bullet holes dotted the far wall. The overseer’s skeleton still lay draped across the chair where he blew his brains out.

 _I guess Vault life didn’t suit him_ , she thought.

She turned away from the sight, searching about the room for the reason she came back: the Cryolator. It was still right where she remembered it, hung on the wall, sealed behind a nearly impenetrable lock.

She took a deep breath and plucked a bobby pin from her hair. Her fingers no longer fumbled with the task, but pulled the pin apart with a practiced ease. Getting a feel for the inside of a lock usually relaxed her, but the memories of what lay down the other hall weighed heavy on her thoughts. Her hands slipped, sending the pin clattering to the floor. She picked it up and tried to fit it back into the lock, but her hands shook so much that it took her several tries. It finally slipped in—only to immediately snap in two.

“Damn it,” she muttered, pulling another pin from her hair.

“Here, let me give it a shot,” Nick offered.

“Fine by me.”

She handed him the pin. He surprised her by taking not only the pin, but her whole hand in both of his.

“You sure you can handle this?” he said.

“I can, but I thought you wanted to try.”

“No, I mean being back here. It’s got to be hard for you to be in this place; I can’t imagine it holds any good memories. Look at yourself, you’re shaking like a leaf.”

She pulled away.

“I just don’t like elevators is all,” she said.

“There’s no shame in it if you want to get out of here. Now that I know where this gun of yours is, I could come back with Sturges or somebody.”

“Why are you so obsessed with getting me out of here?” She said, a little more sharply than she intended.

“I’m sorry, was being stuck in here for two hundred years not long enough for you?” he scoffed, then softened his tone. “I can tell something’s bothering you, and it doesn’t take a detective to figure out what.”

“Get off my back already, I told you I can handle it.”

He shot her a surprised look. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m going to see if I can find a key or something.”

“Good plan. Physical locks aren’t exactly my forté.”

She rifled through the desk drawers and the overseer’s pockets, though getting that close to the skeletal remains made her shudder. Soon she ran out of places to search. Nick still labored over the lock; the soft sounds of metal clicking against metal was the only respite from the eerie silence of the Vault. The emptiness began to gnaw her patience. Knowing that she and Nick were the only living things down there unsettled her more than she had expected it would. Sole paced back and forth. The sooner they could leave, the better she would like it.

 _Nick was right_ , she thought.

She wondered how long it would take him to pick the lock. Her own hands were still shaking too much to try again. She took a breath and tried to force herself to calm down, then checked her hands. They still trembled. It would take more than pacing to steady her nerves. She wanted to stay busy, to have a task. To do something.

“There’s no key in here. I’m going to have a look around. Maybe I’ll find a crowbar,” she said.

Nick acknowledged her with a nod, but otherwise stayed focused on the lock. Sole made her way down the hall that lead to the power generator room. Radroach exoskeletons still littered the floor. She remembered the last time she came through the room, how she was so focused on killing the over-sized bugs that she didn’t notice the generators until a rogue bolt of electricity nearly singed her face. The noise alone had scared her out of her wits. Now she wondered if she would even flinch.

She shook her head and walked faster, determined not to let her thoughts get the best of her. The familiar layout passed by without her notice. She looked around with unfocused eyes as she went, only paying half-attention to finding something that could open the case. Memories of bone-deep cold infiltrated her mind. She remembered how quickly it had permeated her body, slowing her thoughts and movements with terrifying efficiency. She almost did not have time to be scared before the icy blackness closed her eyes for her.

Then she realized where she was. Without thinking, she had walked into the cryo chamber. She stopped dead in her tracks.

 _No_ , she thought, _I’m not ready._

Her body began to move, despite the screaming protests in her brain. She approached the last cryo pod on the right.

 _I’m not ready,_ she thought. _Please, God, not yet._

She remembered how her voice wavered when she promised Nate that she would come back for him. But she could not take the time to cry then; surviving long enough to escape had been her only concern. When she returned, she would let herself mourn. She had avoided fulfilling her promise because she felt that she was still only just surviving. She still needed to keep her edge. She wasn’t ready to let her guard down. Not yet.

She looked into the pod. Nate looked as though he was just asleep.

_I’m not ready to wake up._

Her breath caught. She clenched her fist and tried to stifle the tears that were already streaming down her face.

Nick stepped through the door.

“You in here, Doll? I could use another bobby pin—” He froze in place.

“Now that’s not–oh,” he said, his voice falling to just above a whisper. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

Then Sole broke. After months of living in a dream, in a nightmare where she could pretend that none of it was real, the illusion came crashing down. It was over. And she could not do a thing to fix it.

Her head dipped to her chest. Grief washed over her. She buried her face in her hands as sobs wracked her body.

Nick rushed to her side and closed his arms around her. She clutched his jacket until her knuckles turned white. Her chest ached. Her stomach churned. He murmured something that she could not hear. Then her knees gave out, and they sank to the floor together.

“It’s all real, isn't it?” She gasped. “My home is gone—my husband is dead—and my boy—my little boy—he had to grow up without his mama—”

She looked back at the pod, but Nick turned her head away.

“Easy, easy,” he said.

The concern in his voice swept away the last of her strength. She wept in earnest, crying out with every breath. He pressed her head to his chest, holding her so close that she could barely breathe.

“You’ll be alright,” he whispered.

“They took my boy—I couldn’t help him—”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It should have been Nate—he should have been the one to live—he could have saved Shaun—”

Nick ran his fingers over her hair.

“Hey, don’t start with that kind of talk. Thinking like that will only lead to heartache. Now listen to me,” He took her face in his hands and looked her in the eye. “Sometimes things fall apart, even if you do everything right. You’ll drive yourself crazy asking ‘what if’ all the time. Trust me. I’ve been there. It took me years to stop blaming myself for—for what happened to Jennifer.”

“That wasn’t your fault, either.”

“Funny how that works, isn’t it? But think of it this way: Winter and Kellogg got what they deserved. That wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t met, so maybe we were just the thing the other needed to get some closure. It may not be ideal, but it is something. Better than what most people can ask for in this world.”

Sole tried to steady her breathing. She adjusted Nick’s tie and smoothed out the collar, which she had wrinkled by clinging to him.

“It still hurts,” She said.

He rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Yeah, it does,” he said.

She leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Nick?”

“Mmh?”

"Thanks for coming with me. I’m sorry for being short with you earlier. You were right; I couldn’t handle it on my own.”

“Well, I’m sorry for insisting. This kind of thing...it’s pretty personal. And for the record, I think you could have handled it. It’s just easier to deal with when you have someone to be there for you. I never had that luxury.”

“Now I have two reasons I wish I had woken up sooner.”

He sighed. “That’s real sweet of you to say.”

She pulled him tighter.

“Get me out of here, Nick,” she said.

“Can do.”

He helped her to her feet and began to lead her toward the door.

“Wait—I don’t want to leave him here again,” she gestured to the cryo pod.

“Right. I can take care of that, if it’s alright. You probably don’t want to—you know—see him like that.”

She nodded.

“I’ll get the Cryolator.”

She trudged back to the overseer’s office. Her hands no longer shook; she cracked the lock with careful ease and hefted the gun into her arms. She took a breath and returned to the cryo chamber. Nick had taken a sheet from the sleeping quarters and wrapped Nate’s body with it. The sight of his still, draped form in Nick’s arms sent a sharp pain through her chest. She smoothed the sheet over his head and pressed a kiss to his cold brow.

Then she and Nick exchanged a solemn glance and started for the platform without a word.

* * *

Sole watched the sun rise over Sanctuary. The morning light shone on a freshly disturbed patch of earth in the garden behind her old home. She turned Nate’s wedding band between her fingers.

There was no funeral. She and Codsworth had said a few words when the burial was complete—Codsworth had barely finished speaking when he burst into hysterics and excused himself to go clean something. All she could think was how glad she was that Nate didn’t have to see their home reduced to shambles or see their son grow up to lead a ring of kidnappers.

Now it was just her and Nick. They sat together on a rusted patio bench, watching the smoke from their cigarettes curl above their heads.

“We used to have breakfast out here sometimes,” she said. “I always thought that someday I’d get to watch Shaun and his dad play catch on the lawn. The grass is gone now.”

“Sounds nice,” Nick said. “Wouldn’t mind a life like that. Something peaceful.”

“Mm. Did you ever want kids?”

Nick shrugged.

“It wasn’t high on my priority list, but I figured I’d have one eventually," he said. "You think you’ll ever want to give it another try?”

“No, that part of my life is done with. Unless you’re offering,” she shot him a grin.

He laughed.

“You’ll have to talk to the Institute about that,” he said.

“That would be an interesting conversation. ‘Hey Shaun, you’re going to have a little brother! You just have to build him first.’”

She turned to Nick to find him already staring at her, a soft look in his yellow eyes.

“What?” She said.

“There’s that smile. Good to see it again.”

He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

“You big softie,” she said.

She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. The feeling reminded her of the old days, when she and Nate would lie on the couch to watch a movie late at night. She brushed away one last tear.

Sole had a weapon that could keep Sanctuary safe, and she would be there to use it. God willing, Vault 111 would stay closed for good.


End file.
